• melyse

One weird trick to making 350 (mom) friends in one month

Updated: Apr 29, 2020

Making friends as an adult is fucking hard, especially when you move to a new city. You can’t just go up to someone on the playground and pull their pigtails or throw dirt in their eyes and automatically become best friends. Sure, you have your co-workers, but you’re literally paid to be nice to them.

This was my dilemma three years ago when my husband and got the news that we were moving from Victoria, BC to Ottawa. As a former social outcast-turned barstar/social butterfly, I was aghast at the idea of making *new* friends. High school was rough for me. Despite not being completely tragic to look at and making every effort to fit in, I never had more than a couple friends to rub together. I got teased and picked on by the girls and ignored by the boys (not having boobs until I was 17 didn’t help), so the concept of becoming a loner once again after a long stint of having a busy social life was concerning.

I made it through the first few years here a little bored and lonely but relatively unscathed. My husband, bless his heart, is great company so I didn’t truly worry about my lack of friends until we found out I was pregnant. That’s when the panic really set in.

“Fuck,” I thought to myself. “I’m going to forget how to talk to adults. I have no girlfriends here, let alone friends with kids, so it’s going to be me and my baby all day...every day...for a YEAR???” Well, despite my growing concern, I did absolutely jack shit to improve my social network before having my baby and when he arrived I was too busy/exhausted/covered in puke for the first couple months to leave the house.

However, when Pierce aka Spicy P was about 3 months old, I started to get the itch to commiserate with other women. My husband could only listen to me rant about baby poo and my lack of sleep for so many hours in a day. So, where does a lonely FTM go to attempt to trick other moms into becoming her friend? The internet, duh.

I had previously joined the Ottawa Mom Village - 2019 babies group on Facebook and had been a fly on the wall for the first few months, but I thought what better place to start my journey to forming my IRL (in real life, for the uninitiated) mom squad then a gigantic online community?! So, I found the funniest picture I could myself and Spicy P (see below), whipped up a creative caption about being on the hunt for some other “dope moms” to chill with, and sat back with my fingers crossed, hoping for a miracle.

Well, the post BLEW UP. 100 likes and +100 comments later, I knew I was on to something, so I quickly formed another group focused on bringing moms together in person. In my haste I called it Dope Moms of Central Ottawa (Idk I was sleep deprived I know it’s kind of stupid lol) and started inviting people to join.

That was about a month ago, and two incredibly successful larger mom meetups and many smaller one-on-one hangouts later, my plan worked. We’re about 350 members strong and I finally feel like I’m on the path to recreating the social network I left behind in Victoria.

The coolest part of this experience for me has been the gratitude I’ve received from other women that felt exactly the same as I did. Who knew that there were literally hundreds of women who also craved an excuse to turn off Netflix and leave the house?

So, to anyone reading this...YES, mama. If you’re feeling isolated, do yourself a favour and put yourself out there. You might just make 350 new friends in the process.

Xox Brianna aka The Original Dope Mom

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